


Certitude

by Rivulet027



Series: 100 Fandoms Challenge [9]
Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016), Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: Rebels
Genre: Angst and Feels, Gen, Guilt, Hopeful Ending, Implied/Referenced Torture, POV Alexsandr Kallus, Past Torture, Post-Star Wars: A New Hope, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Somebody Lives/Not Everyone Dies, Survivor Guilt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-12
Updated: 2019-12-12
Packaged: 2021-02-26 02:34:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 993
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21766147
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rivulet027/pseuds/Rivulet027
Summary: Kallus recruits Bodhi.
Relationships: Alexsandr Kallus & Bodhi Rook
Series: 100 Fandoms Challenge [9]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1720615
Comments: 4
Kudos: 28
Collections: FandomWeekly (2019-2020) Writing Challenge on Dreamwidth, The 100 Multifandom Challenge





	Certitude

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Written for the fandomweekly challenge warning shot with the bonus challenge It's really not that complicated. Also written for the 100fandoms challenge prompt alive.

Alexsandr Kallus needs to be the one who offers a chance to join the Rebellion to Bodhi Rook. He’s self-aware enough to realize his need for this isn’t entirely healthy, but the horror of his encounter with one of Gerrera’s people had settled around him ever since Andor’s first report that an Imperial defector was trying to go to Gerrera with Intel so Alex needs to be the one who tries to recruit Rook. If Rook declines to join them, Alex wants to at least see the man with his own eyes. Of course their Intel could be wrong and this isn’t Rook, just someone who looks like him. It’s almost more plausible that the entire Rogue One team is dead than one man made it out, but Alex is meticulous and relatively sure the man he’s approaching is Rook.

He purposely makes sure a half dozen of the surveillance cams see him as he makes his way to the cabin nestled in a clearing surrounded by large trees. As he approaches the gate a blaster bolt hits the fence post nearest his head. Zeb responds by swearing over the comm.

“Relax,” Alex orders. “That was just a warning shot.”

Zeb goes quiet and Hera responds by telling him to be careful. Chopper complains that he would’ve already knocked Rook out if he’d been allowed to go. It’s just him, but the Ghost crew is in his ear offering advice. Alex reaches up to turn the comm down slightly before shifting to face the spot on the porch where the shot had come from. He holds up his hands so Rook can see he’s unarmed.

“I just want to apologize that we didn’t get to you sooner,” Alex says. “We had to get Erso or Gerrera wouldn’t have let us approach him and that delayed getting you out of there.”

There’s a shift of movement on the porch. “Who are you?”

“Kallus. I worked with Andor.” Alex answers, then admits. “I was friends with Cassian and neither one of us made friends easily.”

“What do you want with me?” The words are suspicious. 

“It’s really not that complicated,” Alex attempts to sooth. “We’re always in need of pilots.”

He’s not going to go into how many people the Rebellion lost between Scarif and Yavin.

Rook steps out slowly, lowering his blaster, as his eyes dart from Alex to around him, then past him. There’s a rip in the knee of one of his pant legs and his shirt is dirty. There’s dirt on his fingers as well, but the rest of him is clean. His beard is neat and his hair tied back.

“I’m a mess,” Rook tells him softly. “You deserve better.”

“You should’ve been accessed in medical before anyone questioned you. I want to apologize for that too.”

“There wasn’t time. Not after what happened on Jedha.” Rook sighs, then shrugs before he holsters his blaster.

“We have resources that should’ve been made available to you. I can’t imagine Gerrera was kind.” 

Rook frowns, eyebrows knitting together as he wraps his arms around himself. The way Rook curls in on himself makes the guilt almost palpable. As much as Alex knows they needed Erso to get to Gerrera, the thought of leaving Rook there that long still hurts.

Rook shakes his head. “Please don’t bring him up. I guess you want to know what happened on Scarif?”

“This isn’t an interrogation.”

“Then what is it?” Rook asks, head tilting slightly as he studies Alex.

“I don’t normally recruit people,” Alex admits. “but I had a run in with one of Gerrera’s people before I defected so I was concerned.”

“Concerned?” The question is bitterness and pain rolled into a tight ball. 

“I also found Erso and put together the team to extract her from prison,” Alex continues. “I’m sorry. We sent her as soon as we could, but I’m still sorry it took so long.”

Rook laughs low and mirthless, then pauses to take a slow deep breath. “You did what you could, you don’t have to feel guilty for…”

He cuts off to shake his head and sigh.

“We have resources,” Alex reiterates. 

“Don’t waste them on me. If I hadn’t flown them all down there…”

Alex waits, but Rook doesn’t continue, just stares at the ground near Alex’s boots.

“Then we wouldn’t have gotten those plans,” Alex points out carefully.

Rook raises his head and Alex can see his own guilt for the things he did and didn’t do reflected in the eyes that meet his. 

“I got the last Guardian of the Whills killed.”

Alex wants to step forward, but he’s never been apt at physical comfort and Rook’s whole posture is skittish. 

“If you hadn’t taken them they’d have found another pilot,” Alex tries. “Then they’d have gone there with someone who’d never been to Scarif and wouldn’t have known how to help except fly them there. If that had happened I strongly suspect the Death Star would still be operational and there’d be no Rebellion.”

Rook’s shoulders relax minutely. Then he sighs, “I’m still a mess.”

“Let us help.” 

“Everyone on the landing platform was dead. A-admiral Raddus said they had the plans. No one on the beach was responding and I couldn’t find Jyn or Cassian and the Death Star was there and I just left. I could’ve figured out where I’d flown from, but I didn’t have clearance codes and…” he breaks off with a choking sound, shaking his head. He’s not even really seeing Alex anymore. There are tears sliding down his face.

“You’re alive,” Alex reassures. “We’ve found you.”

He wants to say that they’re grateful, but he knows how those words make his own skin crawl.

“If you want to stay here, we’ll respect that, but we still need all the help we can get so if you want…”

“I want to help,” Rook decides.

Alex feels his own shoulders relax.


End file.
